One misses the hiss of acid

Lucy is given a very bad wrap compared to my personal experience; I honestly felt a divine connection between all things, as if objects had emotional properties, and I found a childlike joy and wonderment that lasts to this day. I still find no greater comfort than being barefoot in wet grass. Lucy showed me the beauty in everything, a beauty that over a month later I can still see strongly. Being indoors is like being a captive animal; I must be running free in nature with my skin licked by the sun and leaves getting stuck between my toes. I found my inner child that night: she is in awe of the world, the world is in awe of her.

We had bought Lucy from a friend earlier that day on a whim and then drove to a different friend’s house to take it. The room we where in was in her basement, it’s walls where painted black and adorned with many colorful pictures and black light posters. This was basically an ideal spot to take a trip.

I took somewhere between 2 and a half to 4 hits of Lucy, the exact amount cant truly be determined since there was a issue with the dosing. The most immediate affects where a metallic taste, dry mouth, and chills. The tingling shock of electricity run all over my skin, sometimes feeling like lightning was jumping from one place to another across my body. Then while looking at a poster of Madonna I notices glimmering trails of light sipping across the outline of the contours of her face. The door looked like it has a sea of light behind it, with changing colors shimmering in the cracks between the door and the frame. My fingers leaked veins of light into the covers I laid on.

Every thing I touched became beautiful and treasured to me; I felt strong feelings of love for a white bead bracelet that would pulsate and glow purple and blue. This bracelet became a returning point for me many times through the night. At the peak of my trip, colors and lights danced and I was free to wonder about the room exploring the marble texture of the floor, and noticing the many faces I could find screaming inside it. These faces did not frighten me excluding one in the far corner, which was particularly menacing and had fish like worms wriggling about it, I felt a strong evil reverberate from it, and I explained to my friends that it was a bad corner and no one should touch it.

At this point I was able to venture outside for a few minutes, while being babysat by a friend so I wouldn’t get lost in my mind. I felt the cold wet mud between my toes and the last sprinkling of rain on my skin. Water droplets that collected on leaves looked like diamonds. The earth was turning and I watched the plants grow. The astounding beauty of nature was breathtaking for me; everything in the universe seemed clearly connected in an elaborate chain. After heading back due to extreme cold I stumbled upon a pair of glasses with one lenses missing, I would put them on and delight in the contrast between the sight in my two eyes, I referred to the Glasses as my “bionic eyes” since it gave me the feeling of having a mechanical eye.

I spent allot of time looking at these black light posters in the hall next to the room, two of which where quite scary, a clown and a picture of bob Marley smoking. The clown was meant to be scary, but I don’t know what poor bob did to be so terrifying but his snapping vampire teeth haunted me. I hyperventilated, and spent allot of time trying to warn everyone that Bob was evil and the clown was on his side. One of the other pictures had mushrooms with faces, and I saw many pinprick dots dripping down in the shadows of this painting. The hall began to upset me, since I was suddenly alone and I felt the clown was watching me, so I went back into the room and put my ipod in and drew.

I ended up drawing allot of sketches of hands, and fire, and at one point I tried to trace the texture of the paper, but ended up creating a pattern that manifested into many faces, including mother earth. The ink flowing out of my pen was oddly amusing, and I had the strangest feeling that my hand took no effort to move, and would draw on it’s own accord whatever my mind was thinking without need of command.

This is when I started to come down from the high; I spent more time looking at textures. Especially in pillows and tables, I also was experiencing more of an emotional trip at this point. Love, Joy, Fear all at once, racing up my neck and down my veins, clenching and unclenching my butterfly filled stomach. That when the voice of god shouted down the stairs “GET EVERYONE OUT OF HERE!” I froze; the voice was eerily similar to what a bear would sound like if it could tell someone to get out. I was terrified, there was no way I could be “Out” in this condition, there is no way anyone could DRIVE in this condition. One of my friends that lived there explained her mother was grumpy if she got woken up, we can stay we just need to keep it down. Which was fine by me I just wanted to sit quietly and try to hear the screaming faces in this table next to me.

The black hole in my belly sucking me in slowly I later diagnosed this as hunger. Unfortunately at this time I was sitting in the room, which was decidedly a boat drifting at sea. I was feeling quite sea sick and all the smoke in the room was suffocating me. I wanted desperately to return to nature, the earth would always comfort and love me. The smoke made me extremely sick to my stomach, so I tried to eat a little to calm the vortex. Eating was strange in and of it’s self. Particular bites would taste delicious, and others would taste of poison, and make me gag violently. I decided that I didn’t want to throw up because it would be unpleasant and scary, so I lay down for a while instead.

Upon closing my eyes I discovered a completely new world, Mushrooms and flowers ran along geared tracks, in an adorable 8-bit style. Faces and designs danced like they where in a kaleidoscope. I wandered my mind, listening to music and watching “music videos” dance across my eyelids. I probably drifted to sleep a few times, but the concept of time was hard to follow, it had felt like years had gone by in mere hours. Once morning (around 6-7 am) came we where decidedly sober enough to leave and go to a safer place that didn’t have bear women yelling at us.

Our Sitter, who had only been drinking that night, told us he was absolutely safe to drive. Not being able to grasp how much he had actually drank we agreed he could be driver and gave him the keys. The ride home was probably around 30 minutes of pure terror, he took turns too fast, and with very little time between cars, at one point we where literally inches away from a side collision with a SUV that had to swerve and slam on their breaks. He also chose to ignore stop signs, and speed limits. I felt sober with fear the whole way, hoping he didn’t kill us or worse, the cops didn’t pull us over. We made it safely, though we where pissed as hell that he told us he was safe to drive and obviously was not. I was shaking uncontrollably and sure that I was more sober, and a better driving option than him.

We made it to my friend Zachary’s house, and with a quick introduction to his grandparents, and a few excuses we ran off into his room. it was much lighter and more open due to a window. The outdoors where truly amazing, and clouds and sunlight was fantastic to look at through the portal. His room was much cleaner and happier than the previous one, probably because the other one had an angry bear in such close proximity. I slept and watched shows on the inside of my eyes for a few more hours, until about 11 when I decided I was sober enough to go home. When I got home I tried to sleep the rest of it off, but ended up having to get up for work still buzzing.

This wasn’t just any day of work; this was my first day at a very common, very popular large retail outlet. And the faces in the walls where staring at me while I filled out all sorts of paperwork and listened to procedures and safety videos. The boy sitting next to me was awkwardly trying to hit on me, which I was not in the mood for though he was kind of cute in a nerdy way. God damn boys need to leave me the hell alone when I’m tripping acid in public, only bad things happen when you open your mouth on drugs. I told him I was tired and grumpy today, since I spent all night out with friends and only got a few hours of sleep. He took the hint and let me devour a bowl of candy set before us in peace. After 4 hours of blur and noise I got to go home and get the first real meal I had had in over 24 hours, and good nights sleep.

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

Writing sober, who could do such a reckless and wild thing as to venture into their own mind unshielded by a substance so powerful it can sever your brainstem if not kept in check. The difference between writing and thinking is small in most senses, but large enough that it can become very dangerous if not done correctly. Thinking is quick and fleeting; with writing you take time, you think, and re think, and over think, and then you spell check (however haphazardly). Chemical Defense is the only way to cut through the dense jungles of your mind safely. For this very reason I have the preference of sharing events in my life that have been chemically modified with additives of varying legality.

Before I get on to the knitty-gritty I should explain a few things, first off I am of the female persuasion. There is no question as to weather or not you will doubt this many times in my writing. I in fact doubt this quite often, but it is easier for me to check and settle my curiosity. Secondly I am quite young, old enough to be living on my own, but young enough to still fear my parents above all other authority on earth. And thirdly I am of moderately high attractiveness and happily single. Any astute reader can piece these bits of information together and see that I have a problem. If I am said single-young-attractive-female, and I am at a place where I am in no need of a male overlord or regular lover, I will have an awkward problem when talking to a person of the male persuasion.

Congratulations astute reader, you have found my current life dilemma. But let me unfurl the inner problems that this scenario has set up for me. I am not a normal female, (this is where you doubt my gender) I enjoy the competitive 3D adventures set before me by a particular MMORPG that has a mass following of addicted 12 year olds. For those of you who haven’t picked up on what I just said, I will put it simply, “I play video games, and not just that, I play World of Warcraft”. Second point where you will doubt me, I enjoy graphic novels (not Japanime) specifically those depicting some sort of superhuman who has the will to protect the masses from some menacing force. I play video games and read comic books, I can keep up with most nerdy conversation so long as it is spoken in english or L33T.

So here I am, no doubt queen of the geeks. The astute reader could very well guess that I am a man at this point, just making up a fantasy of a woman to use as a voice in writing. I have gotten very used to the idea that people question my gender online it no longer bothers me. And I would hold no grudges against the astute reader for these thoughts, as I have no time or will to disprove them.

Now that that sexually awkward introduction is finished I have to make a little speech of warning. This page will hold accounts that could be so strange and straightforward some soulful human may find it hard to read, or even harder to accept. Since this is an account of my actual life, my virtues will no doubt differ from many of yours. If you are offended by certain natural acts, ie sexual acts, or if you look down on chemical experimentation and release, ie Drug use of varying legality, you may wish to read something else.

That being said, I wish you all well, and I hope you enjoy the ride.
Much love,
Miss Kitty